Common Questions from Tired Moms and Dads
Do you use any form of cry-it-out (CIO)?
No. I hold no judgment for families who have used CIO with their little ones (we’re all trying to do the best thing for our families!), but as a tear-averse, gentle parent with training in attachment theory, child development, and sleep science, I do not recommend nor use any form of CIO (also known as timed checks, extinction, graduated extinction, the Ferber method, and the Weissbluth method). Instead, I use a holistic, gentle sleep training approach that doesn’t involve any form of crying-it-out.
So, no tears?
Unfortunately, no one can guarantee NO tears, so our goal is always as few tears as possible. I personally have a very low threshold for tears, so I will always do everything possible to keep tears to an absolute minimum. It’s important to realize, however, that anytime we make changes to how things are done, some tears and frustration are expected. Remember, you’re helping your little one learn a new skill, and they will voice their frustration or dislike of this new way of doing things through tears.
However, there is a world of difference between CIO tears and tears of protest with the presence, support, and comfort of a parent there with them, lovingly responding and working together with them to learn this new skill. It’s the response to those tears that makes all the difference.
Do you work with newborns?
I work with parents of newborns and young infants to set realistic and developmentally-appropriate sleep expectations, freeing them from societal pressures and unnecessary guilt when their babies sleep like babies. I also offer suggestions for setting yourself up for sleep success in the early months through baby-led sleep shaping.
I offer detailed information about baby sleep, development, and laying a foundation for success in my Sleep Foundations Package, and I offer gentle, highly customized sleep shaping for infants 4 ½-6 months either via the Comprehensive, Extended, or On Call Sleep packages.
Do you work with older children?
Yes! I work with children up to age six—whether that’s transitioning from co-sleeping to their own bed, tackling early rising, or minimizing bedtime battles and middle-of-the-night wakeups.
How are you certified?
I was trained directly by renowned sleep expert Kim West (The Sleep Lady®) through her Gentle Sleep Coach® Training & Certification program, the first and most extensive training program available for sleep coaches. I completed over 90 hours of training under Kim, two medical doctors, an occupational therapist, a licensed clinical therapist, and a lactation consultant, as well as clinical supervision and advance coursework through the program.
Because anyone can call themselves a sleep coach or sleep specialist—or even a gentle sleep consultant—it’s important to make sure whoever you work with actually has the appropriate training and expertise in the science of sleep, child development, and gentle sleep training.
I am also trained in TBRI®, an attachment-based, trauma-informed intervention that is designed to meet the complex needs of vulnerable children, including those in foster care.
Is it selfish of me to sleep train my child?
When we’ve confirmed there are no underlying issues causing sleep difficulty (such as reflux or allergies), and when we’ve waited until it’s developmentally appropriate, and when we’ve created a highly customized, gentle approach that takes into account your specific child, their quirks, and their temperament, the answer is a resounding NO.
There is undeniable evidence supporting the necessity of quality sleep for the entire family, your little one especially. A good night’s sleep helps you be the best parent and person you can be, and for your little one, getting enough quality sleep is essential to learning, developing, and thriving. The neural pathways they form through play and exploration throughout the day are reinforced through quality nighttime sleep. Which is to say, major brainwork is happening through restorative sleep!
So rest easy, mama. Gentle sleep training is most certainly NOT selfish.
How do I know if gentle sleep coaching is right for my family?
Most tired families who come to me fit one of the following criteria:
They have been encouraged by well-meaning family, friends, or their pediatrician to let their baby cry-it-out, but they know that’s not the right approach for them.
They tried cry-it-out methods (AKA Babywise, Ferber, extinction, graduated extinction, or controlled crying), and found it either didn’t work or that it didn’t align with their parenting philosophy.
They used cry-it-out with their first child but want to use a gentler approach moving forward.
And the big one: The mother’s intuition tells her to respond to her baby and resists letting her baby cry-it-out.
Through gentle techniques that nurture and support your little one throughout the process, we can:
Teach your little one how to fall asleep independently, either in their crib or bed, or in the family bed
Help your baby or toddler learn to self-settle upon night awakenings
Establish independent sleep while continuing to breastfeeding at night (if desired!)
Get sleep back-on-track after major life changes (new sibling, new school, potty training, etc.)
Transition older children from co-sleeping arrangements to their own room
Night wean from breastfeeding or bottle feeding (if desired!)
Tackle early rising
Help you all start sleeping through the night again
Rest easy. It is possible to get the restorative sleep you all need without crying-it-out.
How sure are you that you can help me?
I am completely confident I can help you! I have helped families tackle sleep challenges that felt insurmountable to them in as little as 10 days. How quickly your little one begins sleeping better depends on how consistent and committed you are, as well as the speed you feel most comfortable moving, and your little one’s temperament.